The year that wasn't

It’s that time of year when I begin to think about the New Year’s resolutions I made in January. I was reading over a blog I wrote on New Year’s Day 2011, and I had some pretty lofty aspirations. Sadly, I realized this week that I hadn’t attained any of them. I started to think that 2011 has been a big “FAIL” for me so far.

I used to think New Year’s resolutions were stupid, and I pretty much refused to make any. I figured most people never follow through with their resolutions, and if they do it’s only for a few weeks. By February 1st, most people’s resolutions are forgotten and tucked away in their minds to make again next January 1. However, for New Year 2010, I decided to make a resolution to learn how to knit. I’m not sure why I picked knitting, but I think I felt like it was something I needed to learn how to do. Just so I could say I could do it. To confess, I’m one of those people that likes to impress people with all the neat stuff I know how to do. I love the “ooos” and “ahhhhs” people make when I fold a tiny origami star for them or speak some fluent Spanish in front of them. I’m not proud of it, but that’s the way I am. I think that’s the reason I decided to make a resolution. I thought it would be neat to learn how to do something new each year.

It took me about two months and two different teachers, but I did learn how to knit. On Father’s Day I presented my dad with my first completed knitting project, a brown, wool/alpaca scarf. It was beautiful and I couldn’t believe that I had knitted it! I also vowed to learn how to make something that took less time than a scarf, and eventually my mom showed me how to make washcloths. They are way cute and super impressive, and fortunately quick and easy to make. I also got my first taste of how it felt to actually keep a New Year’s resolution, and I wanted more of it.

So come December 2010, it was time to decide what my new resolution would be. But why be limited to just one resolution? Why not make several? I thought maybe I would learn how to crochet, but decided against it since I’m still learning the finer points of knitting. Then I thought it would be fun to learn something about every country and nation in the world, but that seemed a little overambitious. After much thought, I settled on the following three resolutions: Go to Ireland, learn how to drive a stick shift, and improve my Italian to be as good as my Spanish. I was very determined to do all three. But here it is, September 16, and I have completed none of them. I began to feel like a failure.

It was at this point I began to really think about 2011 and the things that I’d done. The first three things that came to mind were mistakes that I’d made, errors in judgment. These three things (mere coincidence that I thought of three?) seemed to overshadow all the good things I’d done this year. Then I forced myself to really think about what I had accomplished this year, and the good things that had happened.

There were a lot of resolution type things that I’d accomplished this year that I didn’t exactly put on my list. I decided to get fit and start eating right. I started taking a bootcamp cardio class at my local community center in January, but by March I had quit going. Resolution shame came over me. I’d failed already! But I persevered, and I joined the gym at the end of May, and I’ve been working out with a personal trainer there for almost four months. I’m eating right, exercising 6-7 times a week for an hour a day, and I look and feel awesome. And while it’s cost me an arm and a leg, it’s totally worth it because I’m investing in my future health and well-being. As far as I can count, I’ve lost 10 net pounds since January 1, gained a lot of muscle, and dramatically reduced my body fat percentage. That’s definitely something to feel good about.

Now, while I haven’t travelled to Ireland this year, and probably won’t due to financial difficulty, I have taken four trips this year. In February, my mom, dad, brother, and I all travelled to South Carolina to see my sister graduate from Army bootcamp. I don’t remember the last time I was so proud of anyone. And while I wanted to strangle my family several times on the trip, there were many great, touching moments, and I have never felt closer to them than I am now. I also traveled to New York for my uncle’s wedding in August. It was his fourth, but his first since getting sober 23 years ago. He’s a changed man, and I admire him. My new aunt is amazing, and so are all of her family members we met. It’s a great feeling to become connected to so many great people with a simple “I do.” And finally, in August and September, I made two trips to San Antonio for my best friend from high school’s bachelorette party and wedding. I’ve known her since fifth grade, and it was really special to see her tie the knot and move onto a different stage in her life.

After much reflection, I have decided my year wasn’t such a waste. And it’s really only September. Three months is plenty of time to learn to drive a stick shift and brush up on my Italian. I’ll also need to start thinking about resolutions for next year. I think maybe I’ll make just one instead of three. Any more accomplishments after my one resolution can just be bonus resolutions. I don’t want to stress myself out too much.