Believe

"We didn't hike to the Sun Gate the next morning; we ran. We ran on blistered feet and sore legs. We got there, and it was fogged in, so we sat along the rock, on the ruins, and waited for the fog to burn off. We sat and sang songs. And it was like Carlos said, because you can take a bus to Machu Picchu; you can take a train and then a bus, and you can hike a mile to the Sun Gate. But the people who took the bus didn't experience the city as we experienced the city. The pain made the city more beautiful. The story made us different characters than we would have been if we had skipped the story and showed up at the ending an easier way . . It made me think about the hard lives so many people have had, the sacrifices they've endured, and how those people will see heaven differently from those of us who have had easier lives."

From Donald Miller's book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years




I think I read the last sentence of this paragraph at least 15 times today. It made me think about how I deal with hardship in my life.

Most often, when tragedy or trouble strike in my life, I immediately feel sorry for myself, and those involved, and I pray for a way out. I ask, "Why me?" or "Why them?" and I shake my fist at the sky. After some time passes, I am able tell myself that the trials we go through in life make us stronger. They make us better people. But do I really believe that? I think that we, as people, often tell ourselves things that we don't really believe. Or maybe we believe them, but they don't really seep into the deep depths of who we are and how we live.

I often like to quote, to myself and to others, Romans 5:1-5, which basically says that we should rejoice in our suffering because it makes us better people, and that our ultimate hope is Jesus (at least that's what I get from it). I think that I believe that concept to varying degrees, depending on the day. When I say "believe", I don't mean, acknowledge that it is true. I know it is true. I mean "believe" as in, I live my life and make decisions based on that truth. I remember one of my pastors saying once that there is a difference between believing in God and believing God.

From Dictionary.com:

"believe" - 1. to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so. 2. to have confidence or faith in the truth of (a positive assertion, story, etc.); give credence to.

Most of the several definitions I found listed included words like "confidence", "conviction", and "faith". You see, there are many who believe that God exists, but they don't put their confidence, conviction, and faith in God. This applies to many things in life. You might believe something to be true or to exist, but you don't put your confidence, conviction, or faith in it.

Don has reframed this "belief" that I already posses (the belief that trials can enrich our lives and afterlives), in a way that empowers me to "believe" it more.

Imagine a person that lives in a third world country with barely any food, clothing, shelter, or comfort of any kind. Imagine that this person believes in God and that their only hope on this earth is the promise that they will be with God in heaven when they pass. This hope drives their entire life and everything they do. It's the only thing that helps them survive the squallor they face every day. How joyful would you imagine they would be upon actually reaching heaving and meeting God face to face? Would it be the same as that of a middle class American living in suburban Chicago who lived a life full of everything they needed and wanted and more? A middle class American whose life was filled with comfort, family, a good job, and more security than this third world person could ever imagine? Would that joy be equal? Some might argue yes, because they might argue that the joy of being in heaven far surpasses anything anyone, rich or poor, could ever fathom.

Another example. Few of us have been lucky enough to find "the one" right away and live happily ever after. Many of us have been through several heartbreaking, painful relationships and break-ups, and even if you haven't been in many relationships, I know that the lonliness of single life can start to eat you alive. We've often wondered if we should just give up hope and resign ourselves to a life of singleness, divorcedness, or widowered/widowedness. (Yes, I know those aren't real words.) I've felt this way a lot lately. But, reading Don's book today, I realzied something:

"It made me think about the hard lives so many people have had, the sacrifices they've endured, and how those people will see heaven differently from those of us who have had easier lives."

Reading these words, it made me think of how much differently I will see my husband on our wedding day than if I hadn't had to endure so much pain to find him. I think I might even read this passage from Don's book as part of my vows. I will probably cry so much that I will barely be able read what I've prepared, because as I stand up there I will be remembering many things. Things both wonderful and terrible. Things that made me who I am. I will be so overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God, which has seen me through everything life has brought me, both good and bad, that I will probably drop to my knees in gratefulness and reverence, because I will see my husband differently than those of us who have had easier lives. I imagine that those in attendence who've had easier lives will probably wonder what I'm getting so emotional about (it's just a wedding), and those in attendence who've had harder lives and endured many sacrifices will probably be crying with me.